QBs to be protected by Dupont's "Nano-Bubble"

John Singlinden-linden
GFL Nano-Technology and all things really small.


District Of Columbia – Every year there’s a new rule to protect the quarterback.

NFL franchises will have the opportunity to increase the shelf life of their franchise quarterbacks.

In a double blind survey commissioned by the NFL Players Association, 95.5% of NFL quarterbacks complained: “the hits are too hard,” or “I want to play until I’m 52,” or “my uniform needs constant mending by the team seamstress,” or “the pressure from linebackers and cornerbacks. . .well, frankly how am I supposed to do my job if I keep getting pressure from the other team?”

The “Nano-Bubble”, engineered by physicists and engineers at the Army Corps Of Engineers and Dupont, employs nanotechnology to shield the quarterback from hits exceeding 20 Newtons of force or 16 PSI, roughly atmospheric pressure. Anything under this “force threshold” such as a handshake from a congratulating opponent, a botched snap, or glaring lights from the scoreboard is repelled. Officials from The NFL Hall of Fame in Canton are encouraging players interested in the Nano-Bubble to stay at home and play Madden 10 on their Sony Playstations.

This new technology should not be confused with bubble-wrap, which was tried by Boomer Esiason and Vinnie Testeverde.

This new rule will extend to punters as kickers as well as special teams returners who call for fair catches.

Quarterback coaches and agents are hoping that someday they can avoid all physical contact at the position.