"It would be such an honor if I could win that. He was, like, one of the best quarterbacks in Redskin history."
-Tim Tebow, confusing the Heisman Trophy with a Theisman Trophy"I just Googled and took a plane. Dumb, stupid me. Duh."
- Star Brazilian soccer player Ionesco, after mistakenly showing up on the New Zealand coast for the "Yachting" World Cup
"Guns don’t kill people. Bullets do."
"I don’t split TV time with my wife. I’m certainly not going to do it with Michael [Vick]."
-Donovan McNabb
"Wait. . .am I playing football this year?"
-Brett Favre, to his wife, just after waking
"Extra cheese, double pepperoni."
-Andy Reid, every other day
"F*$#ing duck."
-Jerry Jones, to the visiting Globetrotters, as they passed under his haughty video screen
"Let’s rearrange the alphabet and put 'U' and 'I' together."
-Tony Romo, courting Miley Cyrus
"My vocal cords have been surgically altered to scream annoyingly for the rest of my life."
-Ron Jaworski, in an open admission regarding his latest ESPN assignment
"I have a bent fingernail. I’ll be fine. It’s just that I can’t play Mendelssohn’s Romanze in G Major tomorrow at the Minnesota Arts Center. That was important to me. Maybe I’ll do the Kimmel Center. Or Radio City. We’ll see. I’m not sure. I dunno. I’m gonna go to sleep now."
-Brett Favre
"I believe you still have my Social Security number on file?"
- Kurt Warner, to his former Save-A-Lot manager
"I would never say I loved one more than the other!. . .But we all know who it is."
-Archie Manning
"Because the other team is 4-0."
-Tennessee Titan Jevon Kearse when asked why his team was 0-4
"I think we, uh. . .ya know. . .(unintelligible). . .you know ‘a good job' fendin’ a field. . .making, you make. . .uh (unintelligible) with the. . .Howard, he. . .Chase, well sure he’s uh. . .Jayson, Rolly, he’s whooaaa. . .yep. . .uh. . we’ll see you in L.A."
-Charlie Manuel, after winning the division series
"You ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?"
-Tom Brady, after dirtying his uniform against the Broncos
"Guns don’t kill people. Bullets do."
-Plaxico Burress
"I don’t split TV time with my wife. I’m certainly not going to do it with Michael [Vick]."
-Donovan McNabb
"Wait. . .am I playing football this year?"
-Brett Favre, to his wife, just after waking
"Extra cheese, double pepperoni."
-Andy Reid, every other day
"F*$#ing duck."
-Jerry Jones, to the visiting Globetrotters, as they passed under his haughty video screen
"Let’s rearrange the alphabet and put 'U' and 'I' together."
-Tony Romo, courting Miley Cyrus
"My vocal cords have been surgically altered to scream annoyingly for the rest of my life."
-Ron Jaworski, in an open admission regarding his latest ESPN assignment
"I have a bent fingernail. I’ll be fine. It’s just that I can’t play Mendelssohn’s Romanze in G Major tomorrow at the Minnesota Arts Center. That was important to me. Maybe I’ll do the Kimmel Center. Or Radio City. We’ll see. I’m not sure. I dunno. I’m gonna go to sleep now."
-Brett Favre
"I believe you still have my Social Security number on file?"
- Kurt Warner, to his former Save-A-Lot manager
"I would never say I loved one more than the other!. . .But we all know who it is."
-Archie Manning
"Because the other team is 4-0."
-Tennessee Titan Jevon Kearse when asked why his team was 0-4
"I think we, uh. . .ya know. . .(unintelligible). . .you know ‘a good job' fendin’ a field. . .making, you make. . .uh (unintelligible) with the. . .Howard, he. . .Chase, well sure he’s uh. . .Jayson, Rolly, he’s whooaaa. . .yep. . .uh. . we’ll see you in L.A."
-Charlie Manuel, after winning the division series
"You ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?"
-Tom Brady, after dirtying his uniform against the Broncos
