Gordon S Trefill III: Very little is known about Gordon Trefill III (1245 AD - present). What scant knowledge of the man we have has been pieced together from extant documents recovered during the Italian Renaissance.
The most we can conclusively say is that he was a gifted writer, artist, statesman, astronomer, physician, architect and city planner, humorist, convicted felon, philanthropist, philanderer, misogynist, industrialist, Jenny Craig spokesman, and founder of the Gordon S Trefill Royal Society of Science and Art based in Poughkeepsie.
Historically Trefill has shied away from the press and maintained a very private life. Any unauthorized pictures or representations of Trefill are strictly prohibited.
The S in his name stands for absolutely nothing. Just like President Truman.
A prolific author, Trefill has penned a few seminal works in modern thought including,
- A Brief History of the Millisecond
- A Chronicle of 13th Century Footwear
- Speed Reading for the Illiterate
- The Unillustrated History of Photography
- Don't Sweat Stuff, The Really Big Stuff Is Gonna Kick You In The Ass.
- A Concise, Detailed, Step-by-Step Guide to More Spontaneity in Your Life
- The Joy of Happiness
- A History of Current Events
The New York Times has published several of Trefill's essays,
- If God had my mother, he’d be an atheist, too
- 10 reasons and a logical conclusion why I hate the art of debate
- Making better use of your time, a five volume set
- I’m not paranoid, I’m right. How else do you explain the world being against me?
- Panel of Oxford linguists still unable to find synonym for "thesaurus"
Adored by women, envied by men, and idolized by children, Gordon S Trefill III is widely considered the "Godfather of the New Enlightenment." This is a new movement of thinking about the modern world. It's not a Wikipedia entry, so you may not have heard of it, but it's catching on.
Trefill Industries Spokesman
Charles Grayson
