MLB Capsule: Chipper complains of ankle pain, says he never really liked baseball anyway

 

Braves way behind, Chipper requests to be placed on DL

Atlanta - The Braves have toyed around with giving the Phils a run for their money for the last two months. But now, still 8.5 games out, old Chipper wants to take his ball and go home.

The aging infielder complained of a slight irritation in what he called “the ankle area”. He went on, “it feels like a little chafing, you see it there?” he asked teammates. “I just don’t feel right about this. I look hideous.” He went on to say how stupid baseball is and that he wanted to be placed on the DL as soon as possible.

Team doctors okayed him for play, but Jones wanted a second opinion.

Seattle Mariners accidentally win two in a row

Safeco Field - By sheer chance, the struggling Mariners feel like they tripped over a stack of twenties. For the first time since 1926, they won two consecutive games. In a row.

“We didn’t mean to, we just stopped paying attention and two wins snuck up on us," said skipper Eric Wedge, "surprised the hell out of me.”

Entire Houston Astros franchise sent down to minors

Houston - The entire Astros organization, including owners, managers, players, field crew, front office personnel, and the fans themselves will be heading to Triple-A to share a field with the Tacoma Rainiers.

Commissioner Selig will figure out a way to work them into the year’s remaining schedule.

Scheduled opponents in the major will be awarded a forfeited win and get some time off.

Since their darling Hunter Pence left town for Philly they’ve only won 3 games, and only then accidentally.