Sunday, September 4, 2011

Kobayashi sprains left incisor, out for Pizza Hut Stuffed-Crust competition


Coney Island - Nearly a year after being charged with trespassing and obstructing governmental administration at the Nathan’s eating contest, the professional Japanese gorger sustained a serious dental injury.

The IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating) considers this category of injury the “concussion” of the sport. “We’re just not doing enough about it,” says competition official John Liplicker, “it’s getting brutal out there.”

“This is one of those serious injuries that could be a career ender,” said IFOCE chairman Rex Wendelmen, “I mean look what happened to Tim Janus at the Land-o-Lakes butter competition.” When asked how eating butter could have caused a dental injury Wendelmen responded, “Well, you're supposed to wait until it melts first.”

Kobayashi's injury prevents him from biting slightly to the front and left, a major strategy for competitive eaters to temporarily pouch foods while chewing more and thus not obstructing the esophagus or backing up the digestive system. The move is called the “Couch the Pouch.”

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