Boston Harbor – Unconfirmed but reliable sources report New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has indeed walked on water. The site of the phenomenon was Boston Harbor. Agents are on the scene and several eyewitnesses have testified to local authorities.
“I walk on water just like everybody else – feet first.” says the nimble pro-bowler. He then recoiled in feigned humility, “There’s nothing special about me – other than I am the best quarterback of all time and – well – Jesus and I are tight.”
Some ecologist have noted however that the harbor’s water is so viscous from pollution that the feat is not a feat at all – that he simply shuffled over the refuse of uneaten clam chowder.
Some veterans of the game were pointedly irate.
“He is not the best quarterback of all time,” Hall-Of-Famer Joe Montana chimes, “ and clearly the photos have been airbrushed. Has this guy had a psych eval?”
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has stated that the completely reliable and entirely unbiased and unracist Boston Police Department is looking into the matter.
